We definitely live in a society where thinness is persecuted and idealized by the entire society; Statistics throughout the globe show how each time, girls and boys at younger ages begin this tireless race to change their bodies. A study by an American university revealed that 80% of 10-year-old girls want to change their bodies and believe that the way to achieve this is through a restrictive diet. Another statistic from the American TCA Foundation says that in 1970 the average age at which girls started a diet was around 14 years old, by 1990 the age dropped to 8 years old and there are no more recent studies, however, Things have not improved, we know that 4-year-old girls do not want to have a fat body because they associate it with something negative. It is shocking how in 20 years the statistics made a dramatic change and that affects the entire society and even more so in the new generations.
Many of the people who follow me, who read me and who listen to me, were children in 1990, we grew up with the firm idea that being fat was the worst thing, that it could happen to you in life and that any behavior that led you to avoid having a large body, it was worth doing it, even when it involved eating disorders and risky behaviors and death.
Today we are no longer children, but adults raising children with sometimes very disordered patterns regarding eating, the relationship with our bodies and food. We are perpetuating what caused us to disconnect our minds from our bodies without realizing it.
Current statistics show us that diagnosed ED cases are increasing and compared to the last decade the increase has been 15% and this without taking into account that not all ED cases are diagnosed, surely the figures would triple. And beyond the figures that are already chilling in themselves, we have real life, where the diet, beauty and health industry continues to pursue thinness, body modification and health standards at all costs. beauty very far from bodily diversity.
This brief introduction is important, since we cannot talk about body acceptance when we do not understand the reason why we lack it in the first place. And why do I assume that we lack it? Because both data, communication, culture, etc. They shout it at us every day. Your body is not enough and you are to blame for it not being enough; because you eat a lot, you don't exercise enough, you don't take care of yourself, you don't love yourself, you are depressed and that is why you have that body, you are not healthy, you want to die, among many other phrases, which the only thing they carry is the shame and guilt that the majority of the population suffers.
Also, I cannot move forward without first admitting that I and all the people who were born with different genetic and social privileges such as thinness, skin color, complete abilities or access to health services, housing, education; Our challenges are very different from those people who do not have them, which in a certain way is not that we do not suffer from poor body image, lack of confidence in ourselves and our bodies; However, we have not suffered the same type of marginalization, discrimination, aesthetic, medical, social, labor, verbal, psychological, sexual violence, singling out and exclusion as those who lack that privilege.
For me, sometimes it is still difficult to accept that I live with several privileges, when I myself suffered from an ED and many of the people who listen to me, who have lived in an ED know what I mean, how can that be a privilege? At first I didn't understand how my suffering could be less than that of the other fat person. How? If I hated myself, I don't find privilege in that situation. Until I was reading, informing myself, following accounts that gave me non-pesocentric information and studying, I opened my eyes to another pain that I had never noticed, that pain that no one talks to us about, that on the contrary they teach us to hate, to blame and point.
Because, if confessions have to be made! Well, I am the first who will say that without awareness I had fatphobia and not only internalized, I would say very externalized. And I'm not happy about it, but I'm no longer ashamed either, however, I accept that I was part of the problem that I want to help solve today. And although I am working on it, I believe that there is still a deep internalization of some assumptions about the size of bodies and people, which in fact is normal and expected, we receive fatphobic messages from everywhere, we cannot claim that we live outside of that phobia , but what we can do is not consciously participate in those ideas that only destroy, limit and impoverish human beings.
Let's start by understanding what body image is, what it is and what it is body acceptance:
Body image is: “the image that our mind forms of our own body, that is, the way in which our body appears to us.”
Notice how the definition does not talk about the physical part of the body, that is, the perception of our body may not be directly correlated with how our body really is. It is more related to the value system, the experiences, the learning we have about our body.
Body image is made up of different components: the perceptual component (perception of the body as a whole or some of its parts), the cognitive-affective component (evaluations regarding the body or a part of it) (feelings or attitudes regarding the body). body or a part of it and feelings towards the body) and the behavioral component (actions or behaviors that occur from perception).
As you can see, body image not only has to do with your weight, perfect measurements and/or size, but rather with what that means to you, according to your culture, history, experiences, thoughts, values, etc and of course it is closely linked to self-worth. But what is self-worth? In the area of psychology, it is understood as the individual evaluation that a person makes of himself and it is from this that he recognizes himself as valuable, capable of being respected, loved and considered by others. the rest.
The reason why self-worth and body image go hand in hand is because your body image will be tied to your self-worth and many times we seek to be recognized, valued and loved for our image, that is part of the culture; In short, we seek to feel valuable because of our exterior.
Now let's go with the concept of accepting, (according to the Spanish language dictionary (RAE)): “It is receiving voluntarily or without opposition what is given, offered, had or commissioned.”
Te das cuentas, es recibir voluntariamente eso, en ningún lado dice que te guste, que ames, que te grade si quiera, más bien, me parece a mí como una decisión y de cierta manera, el aceptar tu cuerpo recae en una decisión y sería muy poco responsable de mi parte decir que, solo es aceptar tu cuerpo y la magia pasa, y al otro día te levantas de la cama y vuala, listo aceptas lo que tienes, sales con tu imagen corporal fuerte y restablecida.
In fact, that is what they want to sell us, when we talk about acceptance of our body, is to put on a bikini, take photos and post them on Instagram or make a video on TikTok, showing your body with confidence and empowerment. But sadly, if this is misguided, it falls back into external validation, putting your own value in the likes you receive, showing others who you are. And I don't want to say that there is anything wrong with doing it, what seems risky to me is believing that this is the expected job and what you have to do to accept your body, is to be brave and show what you don't like.
The work of accepting your body goes further, it is not a short process and much less if you have lived with an eating disorder or with a negative relationship with your body; wow, I can tell you that it will be a job every day, perhaps a lifetime, and there will even be days when you feel like an insect and others when you feel like the queen of the world and that bikini photos are necessary, if for Your inner, greatest version of yourself is, but it's not if you're seeking approval from an outside group (whatever that may be).
Body acceptance is not passive but rather active, that is, to achieve it you will have to act for it, searching for it, working on yourself, letting internal processes happen and pass, in many cases it will be an individual process and sometimes it will be collective ; For many people it is easier when they seek help and/or support. Don't forget that there are no exact ways, what works for you may be functional for others, but not for everyone.
Don't forget that the best way to know what body acceptance looks like is to ask yourself, because only you know and know your truth and why and how you decide. Connect with your values, with your emotions and with your greatest version of yourself. That never fails!
Karla Manzanilla
Illustration by: Ximena Vásquez
Instagram: @womensmagick
Correction and style: Sergio Manzanilla
